Jeep Cherokee XJ Awesomizer 3000

Turn your old vehicle into a brand new upgraded Cherokee worth $30,000+!

  • Works on any vehicle!
  • Some assembly required

The buy-it now price of well-built Cherokees on popular auction sites is going through the roof! But unfortunately the availability of nice XJ’s is on the decline. Here at JcrOffroad we decided to do something about it. Based on old government technology that Anthony found browsing skeptic blogs and reading classified military documents; we’ve secretly been in development of this amazing machine for years. It’s now finally available to the public.

Just take any beat-up, busted, or broken vehicle and drive it through the XJ Awesomizer 3000 and out the other side will come a clean, built, trail ready Cherokee worth upwards of $30,000! That’s right, push, pull, or drag any piece of crap through and out comes the XJ of your dreams.

The price seems steep you say?! Well how can you put a price on a machine that basically prints money in the form of Jeep Cherokees? Forget gold, junk silver, or bitcoins; the Jeep Cherokee is clearly the currency of the future.

Get yours today!*

*Warning: Multiple trips through this device by humans has not been tested or approved by the FDA. Please call your doctor if you are experiencing any of these symptoms while near the XJ Awesomizer 3000: Headaches, nausea, back pain, projectile vomiting, appendage vaporization, blood shooting from eyes, loss of sphincter control, uncontrollable urge to chase squirrels, rash, fever, super strength, telepathy, lasers shooting from fingers, tasting colors, night terrors, growth of a tail, veganism. .

JcrOffroad is not responsible for damages to your pets, home, town, or a complete failure of your power grid because of the use of this device.